Week 5: Evaluating Listening Skills & Nonverbal Behavior (Revised)

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/active-listening-skills-steven-norton

   Culture could affect the way of how one listen due to the different life experiences or exposure they went through since young. Before I continue, I have prepared a video below that might aid you to further understand on active listening and non-verbal communications, and how they affect the conversations in our daily lives.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsxVK_DypBc

   Allow me to share one of the observations I made of my parents, Just like most families, my parents would share how their day went with each other - something bizarre, something funny, something pleasant etc. However, during their conversation, my mother and I realized that my father does not have the habit of maintaining eye contact. Such act would cause frustration in my mother and creates tension between them as she might feel that he was not giving his utmost attention.

   I strongly believe that my father's act stated above was due to the family environment that he lived in since he was a child. My father was greatly exposed to such act as his father did the same to my grandmother during any conversation. However, my grandmother did not take it too personally towards my grandfather as compared to my mother. This was another observation I made. Such acts or practices like failing to maintain eye contact was not informed of and corrected, hence, I feel that my father perceived it to be acceptable.

   In conclusion, based on the observation I had made on others relating to today's topic, I learned how culture could affect the style of active listening skills in someone. We must be aware of our own individual style of active listening skills and change it, if it's poor, to prevent any misunderstandings in future conversations.

Week 5 (Additional Post) : Emotional Intelligence in Interpersonal Communication

Figure 1.1  Definition of emotional intelligence from Google Definition

    In my personal opinion, I strongly believe that emotional intelligence is important in interpersonal communication. I feel that one needs to be mindful and in control of their own emotions before being able to communicate effectively in a conversation between two or more parties. Before I continue, Figure 1.2 below by Daniel Goleman's might aid you in the further understanding of emotional intelligence.

Figure 1.2 Daniel Goleman's five components of emotional intelligence

    As stated by Daniel Goleman's five components of emotional intelligence in Figure 1.2, there is a co-relation between a person's self awareness, self management, social awareness and relationship management which I believe to be essential in achieving emotional intelligence that could affect the communication among different parties.

    It is essential to have a clear perception of one's own emotions before trying to discover those around them. By truly knowing oneself, only then will one be able to manage and be in control of their own emotions. These will also open one's awareness towards their surroundings. They will be able to understand other people emotions better and thus, developing a better response during a conversation. Once one conquered self awareness, self management and social awareness, only then will they be better at managing relationships.


    With this new found knowledge in mind, I am motivated to find other ways to enhance my emotional intelligence so that I could communicate more effectively and be able to better manage relationships.

Week 5: Evaluating Listening Skills & Nonverbal Behavior

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/active-listening-skills-steven-norton

    Arguments occasionally happen in our lives, which is not any different for me at home. In my opinion, my father lacks in acquiring good listening skills when having a conversation. I feel that this could be one of the reasons to those occasional arguments between my parents. Before I continue, I have prepared a video below that might aid you to further understand on active listening and non-verbal communications, and how they affect the conversations in our daily lives.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsxVK_DypBc

    After observing several arguments between my parents, I realized that my father does not maintain eye contact with my mother when she is trying to give an explanation. This would normally cause frustration in my mother and creates tension between them due to the lack of attention from my father. She would assume that he was just passively listening to her explanations. My mother assumptions were further proven when my father could not answer a question pertaining to the issue.

As of this writing, my father is 53 years old and I believe that due to his age, he prefers brief conversations as lengthy ones might divert his attention away. 

    Another observation I made was that I realized my father would frequently interrupt my mother when a discussion is taking place. He has created a communication barrier between them which prevents my mother from fully expressing her opinions relating to the matter. He would disregard her limited opinions and would retaliate by bringing up his past experiences, hence the conversation would always be one-sided. These kinds of conversations would usually happen when my parents are trying to make a decision together or when they are being defensive towards themselves.

    In conclusion, based on the observations I had made on others relating to today's topic, I learned the importance of acquiring good listening skills. I can avoid the potential mistakes when engaging in a conversation with others. This lesson has helped me with one of my objectives mentioned in my second post of being a good listener rather than being talkative.